woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
