if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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