it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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