so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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