Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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