I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dick very happy bro
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