used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
