is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
