State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
