Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
