Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
