so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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