I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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