If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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