How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
