i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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