Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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