Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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