A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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