but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
