Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
no, he came in my armpit
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
