You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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