if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Drunk is a universal language darling
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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