I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
