He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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