Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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