smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
