So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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