I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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