There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
