Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
