i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
