I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
