you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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