If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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