I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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