is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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