How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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