you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
