I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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