problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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