but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
