At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
