Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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