Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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