With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize