I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
