Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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