Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
