This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
