apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
