thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
