Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
