a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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