A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
