census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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