Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
