He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
