I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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