i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
